When we evaluate others or ourselves, we are actually inviting stress and pain

The statement seems strange for many.   

We continuously evaluate others, events etc.  It is strange but true, that our evaluation of anything external actually tells more of us. Putting it more bluntly, it tells, who we are?

This discussion is not about mundane practical evaluations such as exams, appointment interviews etc. These are mostly rule based with little subjectivity.  This discussion is looking into aspects of more broad evaluations, such as evaluating others and ourselves, with respect to life, possessions, colour, caste, events (such as political, personal) etc.

Societies operate by evaluation. Any evaluation needs a reference point. We can see that, the whole world seems to moving, because of one or other evaluations. A person is expected to be the best employee/businessman, best father/mother, best brother/sister, best son/daughter, best husband/wife etc.  Why there is need to the best?  When they will finally become the best, after which they can relax? This depends on with whom/what they are compared with (the reference)? And reference points are generally unreasonable, and also dynamically varying, in such a way that, they will be mostly unreachable.

Society wants you to be the best, so that you can be enslaved. Not for your personal growth.  It wants you to be unsatisfied, so that you can be put to work for the purpose laid by societies.  Most of us are unsatisfied, because there is fear of rejection by the society, which makes us do whatever we do.

A person, who is unsatisfied at the present, will always be unsatisfied. The reason is that: they are choosing to be unsatisfied now. Similarly, the person who chooses to be contented now will always find a reason to be contented. Generally, the choice is ours. The tendency or the mind-set generally remains the same.  Also, the person who is contented will not fear their evaluation, as it does not bother them. Also they will try their level best not to be in the business of evaluation. On the other hand, we have seen that unsatisfied persons always fear evaluation, when they are below par. But they wish to be evaluated, when they are above par. They will be mostly seen involved in the business of evaluation.

An unsatisfied person is suffering from dis-ease, while the contented person is at ease.  An unsatisfied person suffers from stress that will surface up in the form of various medical ailments. That is why, it is said that, never be in the company of ambitious people. They generally go to any extent to fulfill their ambitions. Why they are so ambitious at first place? Because they are so unsatisfied. Their ambitions lead to stress and their concentration in everything is weakened, and hence their outcome will be of lower quality.  On the other hand, a satisfied person will generally do the best in everything they do. It is simply because; they are not carried away by the outcome, while doing anything. They work with more concentration, and they generally produce best quality in almost everything they do.

Best dad, generally means, someone who had all the money of the world. Why so much money is required? So that all the wishes of family can be addressed. What are the wishes of the family? Big home, bank balance, good health, good family time etc. Big home & bank balance requires slogging for earning money. The side effect will be sacrifice of health and quality time. So it seems that the some goals defeat other goals. Balance might be the key.

If we are in the habit of evaluating others, it implicitly means we are actually evaluating ourselves also on those parameters. Unknowingly, we are sowing the seeds of stress for ourselves. So we should try to abstain from unnecessary evaluation. Life has already given everyone almost infinite reasons to be contented.  But we always find few reasons to be unsatisfied. The choice is mostly ours.

Thanks for reading. Your comments are most welcome.